8 Real Reasons Women Pick Fights With Men They Love

You don’t always have to fight for something. You can fight about anything.

Every woman has started that fight whereby the middle of it, she can’t turn back — no matter how stupid and ridiculous she knows it to be.

That fight about how you’re not attracted to her anymore because you said you were tired or how you should have known what she was thinking — if you loved her you would have known.

Yes, we know how delusional we sound. We get it. But we can’t help how we feel. We’re emotional and tied to our gut.

We pick fights because we’re picking up on something. It might not be about your messy room or your innocent comment about how tired you are, but it’s there, tied to something bigger.

We pick fights because we can’t figure out what we’re really upset about.

Or we’re trying not to admit what we’re really upset about, trying to push it under the rug, only to let it come seeping out in tiny, insignificant, dirty moments.

We’re as ashamed as anyone about these moments. You may forgive us, but trust us, the guilt we carry around is punishment enough.

The only thing worse than being out of your mind is knowing you’re losing it.

To see it pouring out, even though you promised yourself 10 times that day that you wouldn’t bring it up — to say that one thing you told yourself you wouldn’t say.

It’s our biggest downfall and worst flaw. It’s the one thing we try to control but always lose. So please, just try and forgive us.

Because we can only try and guess why we’re doing it.

1. Because we’re bored 
If it weren’t for us, there’d be no flavor in the relationship. We stir the pot, add some spice and give it that extra heat that’s sometimes too hot to enjoy.

We can’t help it. We like excitement and drama. We like to bring things to their boiling point.

2. Because make-up S*x is best 
If we’re fighting about nothing, then it should be nothing to get over. Then it’s just nothing but the make-up s*x left.

Can you blame a gal for trying to get some hot make-up s*x? We all know it’s the best kind, and if you can’t get over the fight, why not get under the sheets?

3. Because we’ve played the chill girl for so long we just explode 
The hardest thing about being chill is not burning up from the inside. It’s hard to keep the temperature cool when you’re breathing fire.

It’s hard to be that cool girl when all you can see is red. But we try. We try for his sake and the sake of the relationship.

We try because he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a woman, to care about things he’ll never notice. We try because we want to be perfect.

Unfortunately, you can only be chill for so long until you just turn cold.

4. Because we know he’ll forgive us 
He’s the one person we can unload on. He’s the only one who can take our sh*t and move on like nothing happened.

He’s our sounding board, our therapist and our garbage dump. We pick on him because we can’t pick on anyone else. We pick on him because, unlike everyone else, he’ll still be there when we’re irrational, neurotic and completely out of line.

5. Because he’s refusing to address anything 
We’re prone to picking at small things when he refuses to address the big thing.

Whether we had a fight over something that was never resolved or he doesn’t see what we’re really upset about, we’ll tear at everything around it until there’s nothing left but the cold, naked truth of the real problem and a huge mess surrounding it.

6. Because we care 
Caring, unfortunately, is picking. Mothers do it, grandmothers do it and girlfriends do it. We pick because you won’t.

We notice little things because we love you, and loving you means noticing everything, from the way you brush your teeth too loudly to the way you fold your shirts.

We just want to make your life better and in return, take ourselves out of it.

7. Because things are going too well 
Sometimes it’s easier to point the gun at someone else than at our own head. We’re creatures of self-sabotage, and if we’re not trying to hurt you, we’re just after ourselves.

We have the habit of refusing to accept a good thing and only looking for the one bad thing that may or may not even be there. We want to kill the relationship before it has the chance to kill us.

8. Because we like to see how far we can push him 
We love to test the waters, see how far you’ll go but at what point you’ll stop.

Every woman likes to gauge how far her man will go for her — and how far he won’t. We like you to go certain lengths but have enough self-respect to know when to tell us off.

Every woman sets her own standards, and the only way to see his score is to pass him the exam.

– This was written by a woman, but we didn’t get her name from the source.

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Bible Verse For Today: Joy Of Righteousness

Isaiah 54:14

“In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you.” (NIV)

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Things You Should Never Say To A Child

If you have a child, are responsible for a child, or have children around you, you must erase these words from your vocabulary and refrain from saying them to a child. This is because a child’s mind and perception of the world is very fragile in their formative years, so you have to be careful not to impact them negatively with your words.

Jumia Travel shares 5 things you should never say to a child.

“Practice Makes Perfect” 
This popular phrase is what most children have grown up hearing and most parents erroneously believe that this phrase encourages a child to work harder and attain great things. However, most of the time, this is not so. This adage sends a message that if a child doesn’t win or excel, it means the child didn’t work hard enough. This weakens the child’s confidence as he/she grows up believing every failure is caused by his/her incompetence or inability to put in enough effort. It’s better to say instead that ‘practice makes better’ rather than ‘practice makes perfect’.

“You’re Okay” 
This is another popular phrase with Nigerian parents. It might seem like the best thing to reassure a child that he/she is okay when he/she has been hurt physically or emotionally, but it isn’t right to force this reality on a child who just isn’t okay. For a child to be sad about something or to come crying to you, it means the child is not okay. You should learn to help the child acknowledge his/her emotions to help him/her understand and deal with them, rather than dismiss them. It’s not like you should never say this to a child, but there are some scenarios you shouldn’t say this.

“I’m on a Diet” 
If you struggle with your weight, shape or size, try to keep this struggle as far away from a child as possible. If a child sees you stepping on a scale every day and hears you complaining all the time about being fat and ugly, he/she (especially girls) can develop body image issues. Rather than telling a child you’re on diet, it’s better to say ‘I’m eating healthy and I exercise because it’s great for the body and my heart’. This can inspire the child to join you and live a healthy life.

“We Can’t Afford That” 
Most people will think that being bold enough to tell a child this, is teaching the child to be responsible, but this is more counter-productive than productive. Keep money issues as far away as you can from children; they are too young to bear that burden. Choose alternative light-hearted ways to tell your child you can’t afford something. You can try saying you’re saving for something special for the family or that you’ll get it for them later. If the child insists, then it’s a perfect opportunity to teach the child in simple terms about budgeting, saving and managing money.

“Let Me Help” 
Again, it’s not like you should never say this to a child, but you should refrain from doing so often. It’s better to let the child ask or give some kind of signal asking for help or even come to you for help, than you jumping in to offer unsolicited help to a child. This can undermine the child’s independence and cause him/her to start looking to others all the time for answers and assistance. When your child asks for help, try asking guiding questions or guiding the child first, to see if the child gets it on his/her own. If he/she doesn’t, then you can help.

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Bold As A Lion – Encouragement for Today

“The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.”

Proverbs 28:1 (NIV)

I have never owned a dog. I wasn’t looking for the perfect family pet — having three children is plenty of activity for me. Yet through a series of odd events, I found myself days away from bringing home a puppy.

The first time my children met the puppy, the pup’s protective mom bit my 10-year-old daughter Noelle. Talk about making a first impression!

Noelle was wiggly and unsure of herself around dogs. When she grew uncomfortable, she turned to run away, thus the bite on her back side.

She whispered solemnly and urgently, “Mom, I want to leave right now. I want to go back to the car.”

This visit, which Noelle had anticipated with happiness all week, was not going well.

Have you ever felt like that? You’ve entered a situation excited and full of courage, but then something goes wrong and it sends you sideways.

In today’s key verse, we learn more about what produces courage and displaces fear. This short proverb is power packed. On one side of the equation, you have wickedness and fear: “The wicked flee though no one pursues.”

On the other side, there’s righteousness and courage: “The righteous are as bold as a lion.”

Why do the wicked flee if no one is chasing them?

When I was growing up as a teenager, there were certain television shows I wasn’t supposed to watch. But when my parents weren’t home, I would sit close to the TV and watch the forbidden programs. I sat close so if I heard the garage open, I could quickly turn off the TV and run to the couch to pretend I was doing homework.

At the slightest noise or creak, my heart would race. I was fearful and fleeing although no one was pursuing me. And I’ve realized: When you have a guilty conscience, it’s difficult to be as bold as a lion.

The truly “wicked” don’t try to right their wrongs. You live in guilt when you repeatedly ignore your conscience. You imagine pursuers and accusations where there are none. Your own heart condemns you.

On the other hand, who are these brave, righteous souls, and how can I be counted among them? These believers aren’t courageous because they are perfect or because they have worked their way to the top.

They are righteous because they have been justified by faith in Christ. (Romans 3:28)

They are righteous because they trust in the Lord and believe by faith. (Genesis 15:6)

They are righteous because their sins are forgiven, and their spirits are not deceitful. (Psalm 32:1-2)

When we dwell on who we are in Christ — righteous and forgiven because of His death and resurrection — we become braver. We’re more motivated to live with a clean conscience with nothing to hide. How liberating to live in this truth: I am made right through faith in Christ!

Without Christ, there is much to fear in the world and in ourselves. But with Christ, you can stand firm, bold as a lion — even when you’re feeling like a little girl facing an intimidating dog. Lions are courageous in the face of opposition. They are symbols of strength and dignity.

Does this verse mean we’ll never experience fear since we are now made righteous? No, even the righteous can be timid as we see from biblical characters such as Abraham and Moses. However, we will fear less and trust more.

Noelle did meet our puppy that day. She is learning to stand tall and assertive, calmly walking through the yard … even when that mama dog is present. The righteous are as bold as a lion (and in my daughter’s case, that includes being brave with dogs).

Lord Jesus, the heavens proclaim Your righteousness. Thank You for rescuing me and delivering me from sin. I lay aside my fears and confess my sin before You. I put on the breastplate of righteousness to guard my heart and mind. May I be as bold as a lion, proclaiming Your power to change lives. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

[written by Arlene Pellicane, Proverbs 31 ministries]

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7 Major Causes Of Break-Ups Of Today’s Relationships

Life does not just consist of roses; it has thorns too. And those thorns can be piercing and painful. Likewise, many beautiful relationships have broken up. The partners probably never saw it coming. Their friends may not have ever expected it. But it happened anyway.

Here is a list of the major causes of break-ups in our world today…

1. Cheating: This probably deserves the front position on the list. Most relationships are caused by the infidelity of one of the partners. The infidelity may be sexual or emotional cheating. In emotional cheating, your partner gets so tied up emotionally with the opposite sex till it seems they should be in a relationship with that person and not you. It can manifest through frequent calls, chats, outings, etc. Ultimately, when the partner finds out, trust is torn to shreds. There may be begging, and forgiveness but the trust is gone. Most times, it is only a matter of time before someone calls it quit.

2. Abuse: What is the point of being in a relationship where you should find happiness, yet you are getting abused every day? Abuse is not restricted to physical aggression; it can also be verbal. And both are equally dangerous. Physical abuse can leave you deformed or even make you lose your life. Verbal abuse on the other hand tears down your confidence, self-esteem, and peace till you become weary of life. By observation, women are mostly subject to physical abuse while men are more prone to verbal abuse. Either way, people are starting to muster the courage to leave abusive relationships for good.

3. Indifference: This is one of the worst causes of break-ups. What happens here is one partner struggles to make things work while the other partner just watches on. The partner is not necessarily asking for a break-up or seeking to build the relationship. You can call it a lack of devotion or commitment to the relationship. No matter how hard you try to make such a relationship work, one day you will get tired. No matter how hard you stretch to keep the relationship, one day you will snap. The reason is that your partner’s indifference will eventually lead you to a state of frustration where you just let go everything.

4. Exploitation: When most relationships start, it begins with love as an emotion. The feeling is indescribable. At this point, you can climb mountains for your partner. Soon, the feelings would die down, and reality would set in. The feeling dies down because it is erratic. This is where you are presented with facts about that person. Once you decide to love that person irrespective of what you notice, you have entered the real phase of love. The sad thing is that: by the time most people get past the initial feelings, they realize that though they loved their partner, that partner was merely taking advantage of them. What they termed making sacrifices for love was actually exploitation. Exploitation could be in the form of sex, money, fame, power, material possessions, etc. And once this is discovered, the relationship crashes.

5. Dead feelings: Many people today dump a relationship when they cease to experience the sweet feelings they felt at the beginning. They think a relationship must always thrill them and stir their excitement. They often forget that relationship may be fun, but it is work. Real work. It may come with its excitement, but it also comes with responsibilities which are necessary to sustain it. Their challenge is that they only want the excitement and not the responsibilities. As soon as they sense the feeling is gone, they quit the relationship too.

6. Ego: This is a rapid destroyer of relationships. When someone insists they are always right and want always to have their way, it is a bad omen. Refusing to apologize or refusing to yield to the opinion of your partner shows that feelings and views do not matter to you. Someone people can bear long and hope that their partner would change. Others have a low tolerance for such egocentric fellows and prefer just to end the relationship.

7. Unsettled issues: As you probably know, no relationship is perfect. The reason is that both partners have flaws and can make mistakes. Truth is: you will get hurt in a relationship. It may be through the words or actions of your partner. But it takes wisdom to settle the score and allow it to heal. Sadly, most relationships today have wounds that are left unattended to. When one partner gets hurt and hides it rather than allow it to heal, the wound festers. It doesn’t go away; it just gets worse with time. One day, such a partner would just decide they’ve had enough already and call it quit. It is better to settle issues quickly rather than ignore them and pretend they don’t exist.

Conclusion 
So, there they are! Our past experiences cease to hurt us once we learn from them. Knowing the above can help you spot a red flag in a relationship and know how to handle it when the need arises.

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Buhari In Competent Hands In London – Lai Mohammed

The Federal Government has assured Nigerians that President Buhari is in very competent hands in London where he is undergoing treatment.

The Minister of Information and Culture, Lai Mohammed, gave the assurance on Wednesday while briefing State House reporters after the Federal Executive Council meeting chaired by Acting President Yemi Osinbajo.

The minister was responding to a question on the status of the president’s health. He also assured that there was no cause for alarm over the president’s health.

“The president is in very competent hands and there is no cause for alarm,” the minister said.

President Buhari left Nigeria for the United Kingdom on May 7 for a follow-up medicals.

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3 Bible Verses To Restore Your Hope On The Hard Days

Isaiah 40:31 
When you feel so exhausted you can’t put one foot in front of the other, find rest in Isaiah 40:31.

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Lord, please strengthen me for the road ahead. Renew my strength, help me run this race of life and not grow too weary to keep going.

1 Peter 5:6-7 
God really does care about you – every little thing – and he cares about how overwhelmed you feel. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says to take it ALL to Him in prayer.

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Lord, I confess that sometimes I try to be YOU – limitless and infinite, trying to do everything and meet every need. Forgive me for this. Help me know my limits. Here are the cares of my heart Lord– will you take these burdens from me? Will you help me see how to move forward in a more healthy way?

Matthew 6:14-15 
When we feel we’ve been mistreated, if left unchecked, that hurt can turn into hate, affecting our relationship with God. Here’s what Matthew 6:14-15 says how to handle being wronged;

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 

Lord, help me forgive those who have wounded me. Thank you that no matter what the other person does, I know what I can do- forgive and move forward. Help me in that Lord, I can’t do it without you.
[Put together by Renee Davis, a contributor to The Good Men Project]

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